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back to SAFETY topics
If you think someone you know is abusing a child
Preventing child abuse is everybody’s business.
If you think a child in the neighborhood is being abused, do not
ignore the situation. Some warning signs that a parent might be
abusive include staying away from other parents in the neighborhood,
not participating in school functions, showing signs of a drug or
alcohol addiction, and being unwilling or nervous about discussing
their child’s injuries. There are many things you can do to help
the child. First, introduce yourself to the family. Learn about
them and their situation. Bring a dinner or a dessert over. Perhaps
the mother, father, or other care giver is overly stressed, addicted
to drugs or alcohol, or simply unable to care for the children.
If you can, volunteer to watch after the children occasionally to
give them a break. Support them with words of encouragement and
sympathy. After some time, you may be close enough or know enough
to recommend a parenting support group, an educational class, or
even a doctor or counselor who can help. If the child is being
abused, it must be reported. Just as child abuse is a crime, so
is not reporting it. With one phone call, you could save a child’s
life.
If you think that a baby-sitter, teacher, child
care provider, or other acquaintance is abusing a child, you must
stop it. Limit or supervise contact between the child and the suspected
abuser if you can. The child MUST be protected from further harm.
To report abuse, you need only a reasonable suspicion, not absolute
proof. There are many places you can call for help.
Look below to find out what to do if you think
a family member is abusing a child,
if you think your child is being abused,
or if a child tells you about abuse.
1. Contact your local child protective agency,
police, hospital, or emergency hotline.
- Agencies for reporting abuse are under the Department
of Health and Human Resources in the phone book. It may be under
social services, children and family services, child protective
services, or human welfare services. If it is a weekend, holiday,
or late at night, contact the police or an emergency hotline.
- Call the Childhelp USA 24 hour national child
abuse hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD. Childhelp
USA is a nonprofit, non-governmental organization that can
put you in touch with a counselor immediately or help you find
a reporting agency near you.
- Abuse must be reported in the state in which
it occurs.
2. File a report.
- You can remain anonymous, although it makes it
more difficult for the agency to contact you if they have further
questions.
- Try to supply the child’s name, age, address,
gender, school, and parents’ names.
- You can make the report in person, over the telephone,
or by mail.
3. The child welfare agency will decide upon
the appropriate course of action.
- If the child is young, or if there are no physical
signs of abuse, or if the child is a family member, a social services
agency will most likely handle the case.
- If a non-family member is abusing the child,
the police may take the case.
- After you report, you may or may not be
able to learn what happens to the child because of confidentiality
laws. The agency will do what they can to help the child. Call
and check to see how the case is being handled.
If you think a family
member is abusing a child
Eighty percent of abused children are harmed by
someone they know and often love. As a member of a family where
abuse may be taking place, you are in both a tricky and powerful
position. The first and most important thing you can do is to protect
the child from further harm. Why is the child being abused? Is
there something you can do to help out? Perhaps Mom is working
too hard and loses her temper quickly. If you can, volunteer to
help out more at home to give Mom or Dad a break. Another option
is to recommend parenting classes, parent support groups, or a doctor
or counselor for the person responsible for the abuse. If none
of these courses of action seem promising or possible, you should
get outside help immediately. There are many places you can call
for help.
1. Contact your local child protective agency,
police, hospital, or emergency hotline.
- Agencies for reporting abuse are under the Department
of Health and Human Resources in the phone book. If it is a weekend,
holiday, or late at night, contact the police or an emergency
hotline.
- You can always call the Childhelp USA 24-hour
national child abuse hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD. Childhelp
USA is a nonprofit, non-governmental organization that can
put you in touch with a counselor immediately or help you find
a reporting agency near you.
- Must be reported in the state in which it occurs.
2. File a report with the child welfare agency.
- You can remain anonymous, although it makes it
more difficult for the agency to contact you if they have further
questions.
- Try to supply the child’s name, age, address,
gender, school, and parents’ names.
- You can make the report in person, over the telephone,
or by mail.
3. The child welfare agency will decide upon
the appropriate course of action.
- More and more frequently, the offender rather
than the child will be removed from the home. This depends on
many factors including the immediate danger to the child, the
motivation for the abuse, and the ability of the offender to hurt
the child. The offender may receive therapy, or if it is a severe
case, may serve time in jail. Sometimes children are placed in
temporary foster care. The welfare agency will do its best to
keep the family together as long as it remains healthy for the
child.
If you think your child
is being abused
If you think your child may have been abused, be
on the lookout for warning signs. Are there physical signs? What
behavioral changes are taking place? Take your child to see a doctor
as soon as possible. Have the symptoms treated immediately, and
ask your doctor for advice. If your child is old enough, talk to
him about abuse. Talk calmly and avoid direct questions. Try to
learn where the abuse may be taking place. If you know who the
abuser is, limit or supervise contact between your child and that
person at all times. Even if your child will not talk about it,
he may be quite scared. Comfort him and make him feel safe. There
are many places you can call for help.
1. Contact your local child protective agency,
police, hospital, or emergency hotline.
- Agencies for reporting abuse are under the Department
of Health and Human Resources in the phone book. If it is a weekend,
holiday, or late at night, contact the police or an emergency
hotline.
- You can always call the Childhelp USA 24-hour
national child abuse hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD. Childhelp
USA is a nonprofit, non-governmental organization that can
put you in touch with a counselor immediately or help you find
a reporting agency near you.
- Abuse must be reported in the state in which
it occurs.
2. File a report with the child welfare agency.
- You can remain anonymous, although it makes it
more difficult for the agency to contact you if they have further
questions.
- Supply as much information as you can regarding
the child, the offender, and the type of abuse.
- You can make the report in person, over the telephone,
or by mail.
3. The child welfare agency will decide upon
the appropriate course of action.
- In the meantime, do everything possible to keep
your child from further harm. Reassure him that you will keep
him safe. Consider taking your child to therapy for the abuse
if he is old enough. See more information under “What to do if
your child talks to you about abuse.”
What to do if a child
tells you about abuse
If a child confides in you about abuse, you need
to know how to respond. There are many ways a child can tell you
about abuse, and not all of them are direct. Oftentimes, the child
will drop hints, ask spontaneous questions about abuse, or allude
to abuse in some manner. Be on the lookout for these signs so that
you can be sure to spot the clues the child is offering in the hope
of finding help. There are many things you can do to make the child
comfortable and confident enough to confide in you.
- Listen carefully.
- Remain calm. If you show signs of shock, horror,
or disbelief, the child may stop short and refuse to talk about
it any more.
- Tell the child that you believe him and that
you are glad he told you.
- Comfort the child and reassure him that it is
not his fault. Explain that you are not angry with him, and he
has not been bad.
- Tell the child you will make sure that it stops.
Comfort him and make him feel safe.
- Do not promise not to tell or make other promises
you cannot keep.
- Do not discuss the issue with anyone but those
helping the child.
- Do not push the child to give details he does
not want to give.
- Particularly in cases of physical and sexual
abuse, take the child to a doctor to be examined.
- Get counseling for the child, and perhaps for
the whole family.
- Seek help. Contact your local child protective
agency, police, hospital, or emergency hotline.
- Agencies for reporting abuse are under the Department
of Health and Human Resources in the phone book. If it is a weekend,
holiday, or late at night, contact the police or an emergency
hotline.
- You can always call the Childhelp USA 24-hour
national child abuse hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD. Childhelp
USA is a nonprofit, non-governmental organization that can
put you in touch with a counselor immediately or help you find
a reporting agency near you.
- Abuse must be reported in the state in which
it occurs. File a report with the child welfare agency.
- You can remain anonymous, although it makes it
more difficult for the agency to contact you if they have further
questions.
- Supply as much information as you can regarding
the child, the offender, and the type of abuse.
- You can make the report in person, over the telephone,
or by mail.
- The child welfare agency will decide upon the
appropriate course of action.
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