Be there!

Let your child know you are always there for him. Responding to your child's needs consistently with care and affection builds your child's trust and helps your child learn to create positive relationships.

Infants cannot be spoiled. Because they cannot take care of themselves, it is extremely important to respond to their needs promptly, appropriately, and consistently. The relationship your child has with you is his first and the most critical. Establishing a loving, trusting relationship teaches your child how to form positive relationships with others in the future. By creating a nurturing and predictable environment, you teach your child to feel secure. This security lets your child explore his environment knowing that you will be there if he becomes scared or anxious. This exploration is a crucial part of the learning process. Being there for your child teaches him that his needs are important and worthy of attention. Letting your child know that he is loved will help him value himself as a person. This builds self-esteem. Children who have a predictable and safe environment are also better able to handle change and stress when it does come, both as babies and later in life. By responding to your infant's needs in a loving and consistent way, you can foster this secure relationship.

Developmental milestones

  • Your newborn baby loves to be touched, held, comforted, and talked to. By 3 months, your baby will be able to return your smile.
  • Between 3 and 6 months, your child will begin to recognize voices and sounds. Your baby especially loves the sound of your voice. Talk to him lots. Feeding times, diaper changes, and bath times are wonderful times to talk to your child about what you're doing. Your voice is reassuring and familiar.
  • Between 3 and 6 months your baby will begin learning to comfort himself and to stay calm after waking or when going to sleep. Forming a secure relationship with your baby helps him learn that you will be there if he needs you.
  • Between 6 and 9 months, your child may become anxious when separated from you. This is normal for even the most secure children. Separation anxiety peaks at about 1½ years of age, but after that, children learn that parents will return after the separation.

For more information, see What Are Empathy and Sympathy? and Language Development: The Stages of Development.

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Be there!

Being there for your child helps him feel safe, loved, and appreciated. Feeling valued is crucial to building your child's self-confidence and self-esteem. The quality of the relationship your child has with you forms the basis for how he interacts with others throughout life. Creating a loving, nurturing, and predictable environment will help build a secure relationship with your child that will encourage him to explore, learn, and care for others. There is a difference between creating a secure environment and spoiling your child. Spending lots of time with your child, showing lots of affection, and making sure your child's needs are met is different from over-indulging your child. You are your child's first and best teacher, and he will imitate everything you do. By modeling how you want your child to act, talking to your child about behaviors and emotions, and setting appropriate limits, you can reinforce positive behaviors while maintaining a secure relationship with your child.

Developmental milestones

  • Toddlers love games and stories, ask lots of questions, and want to learn how to do things, like dress themselves and help with chores. Spending time with your child, reading to him, playing games with him, and teaching him tasks he's ready for are great ways to bond with your child while encouraging his learning.
  • Although your child is becoming more independent and is trying lots of new things, he still gets tired, frustrated, and frightened easily. Be patient with your child and encourage him to communicate how he feels. Children who learn that their feelings are important and understood are more likely to recognize and respect others' feelings later in life.
  • Toddlers love affection. Showing your child how much you love him will help him feel valued and safe.
  • Toddlers are learning how to interact with other people. Forming a positive and secure relationship with you will encourage him to form positive relationships with others.

For more information, see What Are Empathy and Sympathy? and Language Development: Stages of Development.

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Be there!

As your child becomes more independent and begins spending more time away from you, you may need to make more of an effort to spend time together. Continuing to provide a safe, loving, and predictable environment at home will help your child feel more comfortable exploring, meeting new people, and experiencing new things. The encouragement your child receives at home for reading, learning new tasks, and playing games also influences your child's intellectual growth and self-esteem. Continue reading to your child every day. Not only will this help your child learn words and language skills, but it will also make sure that you get to spend quality time together every day. Hug your child. He loves knowing that you love him. Ask your child questions. Not only does this encourage your child to talk and practice putting sentences together, but it also lets him know that his thoughts and ideas are important. Pay attention to how your child is feeling, and talk to your child about emotions. This will help your child learn that his feelings are important and understood, and it will make him more likely to pay attention to other people's feelings.

Developmental Milestones

  • Your preschooler loves to play. Playing catch, tag, hide-n-seek, putting together puzzles, and going to the playground are wonderful ways for you to spend time together having fun and doing activities that encourage your child to think and be active.
  • Your child loves learning new skills and is eager to help you with whatever you are doing. Sweeping, picking up toys, and even cooking can be fun projects when you do them together.
  • Your child is learning to distinguish between the real world and the imaginary or pretend world. This is a good time to discuss feelings, such as happiness, sadness, and anger. Teaching your child to talk about and identify emotions will help him express them appropriately. It will also help him respect and understand the feelings of others.

For more information, see What Are Empathy and Sympathy? and Language Development: The Stages of Development.

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